Progressing

Things are picking up. We are already 2 games into the season and practice has proven to be a high determining factor in where Coach Groh is heading with the QB decision. I'm now a 2nd string quarterback for the Vriginia Cavaliers. I'd probably get laughs if I announced how proud I was about that. What's crazy is that at any given time, coach might give me the nod, and that's a pretty anxious feeling.

I do know this. I have a lot of people to thank in getting me to this position. One of them was the best wide receiver to ever play ball at Cranston West High School. I gave Jimmy a call yesterday and told him how grateful I was for his friendship. He's working over at his dad's service center and will most likely take the place over one day. I look forward to seeing him during the break.

3 Months Later

Virginia is beautiful. It was tough coming this far south, but I feel like I've been welcomed like family. This is like another football planet, the competition is heightened.

After 2 weeks of practice, I have moved to 3rd string QB. I feel comfortable with this team, and my confidence is rising. Whether or not I make first string is up to me being able to show the coaches I have what it takes, and then it's up to them to go with it.

Something's Gotta Give

I sat down with Coach Davis for an hour talking about the playoffs and how he felt I had so much potential, but something was missing. He was listening to everything I said, but at the same time, he had this look of anticipation. He was waiting on me to say what I thought kept me from reaching that potential he spoke of.

"You've got a handful of colleges to choose from. You're going to go in as a 4th stringer, maybe 3rd. But, you'll stay right there unless you investigate yourself and find out what's holding you back." Coach then looked beyond me through the glass wall that seperated his office from the locker room. I turned to see what he was looking at. It was Jimmy. Coach nodded and gestured a "come on in" motion with his hand. Jimmy opened the door and took a seat beside me. "I'm not playing ball, man," Jimmy said with a straight face. "This is where I get off." I'm not sure what happeend then, but I hung my head over and starting weeping like I just lost my first love. Coach hit home, he knew just what it was and he took a chance at making me confront it.

It was supposed to be me and Jimmy, all the way. When his leg gave, everything was silenced. Everytime I stepped on the field, the reality of him not going any further than High School would haunt me. I let it get to me, and after a while, every ounce of success I had put a burden of guilt on me.

It wasn't soon after that Jimmy himself stood up, he too very emotional. He reached out his hand as if to help me up out of my chair. Both of us standing, we hugged and Jimmy said quietly, "It's all you man. It's all you."

There was a lot of weight taken from my shoulders that day. I could think a lot clearer now. My childhood dream was renewed. My next step was to sit down with mom and dad and talk about what the next few months would lead to.

"You need to step up, Malcolm."

I've known Jimmy Ferro since I was 7. Jimmy was at one time the state's most followed football player. A year ago today, all that changed. Jimmy and his family were hit by a drunk driver, and his left knee was so damaged, it almost kept him off the field. He's stil got great hands, but his speed has greatly diminished. Much worse, Jimmy's younger sister was killed that day, and that tragedy has left his family broken and deeply hurt. Now, with his future in sports canceled out, Jimmy also faces the terrible possibility of his parent's divorce.

We're out of the playoffs and more than ever, I feel most responsible. Four interceptions and two of them returned for touchdowns, that about says it all. I blew it. I was never prepared, and because I was careless, I blew it.

It wasn't until walking off the field that I realised how responsible I was. With his head hung low and holding a slight limp, Jimmy looked defeated. I sprinted towards him and then walked by his side. I then said, "Jimmy, I'm sorry." This was it for Jimmy. This was the only championship he'd see. No college was offering him a scholarship. This was it, and he had to walk away defeated. Jimmy stopped walking; I stopped with him. He looked up at me, his eyes were watered down and jittery, his face still wet with sweat. "You need to step up, Malcolm."

That's all he said, and after he said it, he turned away and walked to the showers. I stood there, fully aware of how responsible I was and ashamed of myself.

QB Kneel

Coach Davis told me that it's normal to get upset to your stomach before a big game. His advice was to go ahead and let it all out and then get on with the game. I did that, but the feeling of nausea stuck with me throughout last night's game. It never went away, until the final play.

"You're nothing without that defense." That's what seemed to be the theme after the game. We beat West Warwick, but according to everyone inside and outside of our team, our offense looked confused and unprodcutive. I guess that's my fault. Coach keeps saying, "Read the defense, Malcolm....Readers are leaders!" I threw 2 interceptions and 2 touchdowns. The nausea never went away. I'm standing there bent over, dry-heaving; I look up and see my dad staring right at me. I could see a ton of concern in his eyes, and then I saw his lips move and I read, "Come on Malcolm." His head nodded in a verticle motion, "Come on, buddy."

Getting back on the field was actually a relief. Our defense forced 3 fumbles and 2 interceptions. My upset stomach was now relieved as I heard Coach Davis say, "QB Kneel...sit on it, and let's go home."

Cranston 24, West Warwick 10

West Warwick

This is it, my first start in the playoffs against West Warwick. Coach keeps saying we need to be confident, but the rest of Rhode Island is saying we're gonna get killed. Jimmy's a wicked receiver for our team, and a great friend. I sure hope his mom and dad work things out. He's worried, and I can see it in his face. Anyways, West Warwick. It's a big game. It'll be ok, I'll just keep throwing the ball to Jimmy.